Twenty one years, three months and a few days ago I looked up into a star filled night sky and I was overcome by feelings of regret, fear, loss and embarrassment.
I didn’t like where I was, what I had become and what the future would hold if I was to continue down the same path I was on. I also remember thinking massive change only comes from massive action.
And so on my 25th birthday I decided, committed and began down my own "road less travelled".
Today I'm a few decades further down my road as I continue on life's journey and with the luxury of hindsight and experiences can now reflect back upon and share with you what worked what didn’t and the “one-two thing” to do every day.
Only Three Ingredients Needed for Your Success
- Have a burning desire for personal improvement i.e. the pain to move forward will be less than the pain of remaining stationary and not changing.
- Have a plan. Like the Cat said to Alice in Alice in Wonderland. If you don't know where you’re going, it doesn't matter which way you go. Your plan is your odometer and speedometer.
- 100% commitment to see it through. Like the Duracell Bunny, you just gotta keep on going and going and going!
Why Do We Fail?
Goals are like guns. "It's not guns/goals that kill people, its people who kill people"
The truth is our goals are simply milestones and sign posts, for us to self-assess if we are on track or not and if we are living out our lives aligned to our values i.e. what's important to us.
However, unfortunately we all too often weaponise our goals.
We weaponise them by using our goals to rank our importance against others and on this basis we then compare and use our own achievements as a shortcut to finding our own meaning and fulfilment in our lives. i.e. I’m better or more important than you because …. <fill in the blank>
Also by making “goals” more important than “being our own authenticity” we blind ourselves to being mindful of others.
There by placing us in very great danger, be it accidental, our own making or others of becoming A.K.A. that boastful, dick measuring, judgemental dickhead at a friend’s bbq's, a work event or dare I say family a gathering.
Worse than socially isolating ourselves, we may even unwittingly find ourselves in a self-imposed purgatory on a self-improvement treadmill.
Chasing the dangling carrot of acceptance in front of us and it always being out of reach.
Marching to a silent but deafening beat within ourselves that we don’t measure up. Whilst holstered with us our lethal weapon that at our choosing we can use to wound or kill the hopes and dreams, even our own.
Why do people succeed?
Aside from the only three ingredients needed for success, those who succeed have an innate belief that they can and will see their goal achieved.
It's not a matter of if, only when. Period.
Decide, Commit, Achieve.
But wait there’s more…
No it’s not dream boards. Nor is it chanting positive affirmations. Nor is it surrounding yourself with others better than you.
In fact these often prove a big hurdle to success rather than helping us.
The pattern goes like this. Try, try again, try once more, find it too hard and give up, blame oneself for not being strong enough, wait a while, then repeat. Sound familiar?
Why? Because this reinforcement of currently you are not reality “enough” actually undermines our very efforts by reinforcing our current situation “we are not enough”. All at the same time as going through massive change in habits and discomfort to change from where we are to where we want to be. What a heavy load to carry.
As different as chalk and cheese. It’s one thing to believe you are enough and an entirely different thing to know you are enough.
Knowing you are enough, acknowledges that you already have everything you need and the only thing standing in the way of your fulfilment is doing the work to make what you are working so hard for a reality.
Knowing you are enough is the foundation of confidence and to grow in confidence one simply requires belief and action "an inch of action always beating a mile of intention".
Confidence is our silver bullet to experiencing a more fulfilling life. Why? Because confidence doesn’t need put others down to make oneself feel better. It doesn’t require others praise for validation. Nor does confidence see micro progress as futile.
Confidence is our bullet proof jacket we must wear to each and every gun fight. It’s what carries us between the moments no one else sees, between our dreams and proof.
Confidence puts us in the box seat to better experience our own successes, authenticity and empowerment of others.
Strategy for success
- Clarify and document what is most important to you. i.e. your core values
- Clarify and document where you need to be and where you are today. i.e. benchmark
- Create a game plan of actions and activities to get there. Think of this like your menu. How do you eat an elephant? One piece at a time.
- Be accountable to someone. Just like going to the gym, it's always easier if you have another reason other than yourself to get out of bed and do the work, or at least share the pain together.
If you are stuck in a rut or need some clarity to help you move forward and make better choices and live your ideal life sooner I look forward to your reply.
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This post was written by Peter Horsfield, as such they are his personal views. Peter helps you to focus on what’s most important, the right strategies at the right time. To learn more about How to become Financially Independent visit Peter Horsfield Smart Advice
About Peter Horsfield
Peter Horsfield in an Authorised Representative and Investsure Holdings Pty Ltd ABN 16 050 286 630 as trustee for Horsfield Family Trust ABN 55 609 068 513 is a Corporate Authorised Representative of Infocus Securities Australia Pty Ltd ABN 47 097 797 049 AFSL and Australian Credit Licence No. 236523.