When it comes to our choice and money, we always make emotional decisions and then rationalise them according to our values. I have created the following 10 Money Relationship Questions, to ask yourself about money, make better choices about our money, and achieve a better outcome for both ourselves and those important to us.
Do I feel poor?
Do I feel worthy?
Are the opinions of others hindering me from following through on choices that inspire me?
What is my enough number?
If I could change one thing about my finances, what would it be?
What is important about money to me and why?
What is the biggest risk to me achieving my financial goals?
How do I want to be remembered?
Are my financial choices and actions in alignment with my core values & what is important to me
What is my wealth philosophy?
Do I feel poor?
Feeling poor is not limited only to those struggling financially.
Time and time again I have witnessed those still feeling poor, having overcome significant financial struggles earlier in life, however they continue draw on this emotional motivation to keep on going and feed their insecurities.
Tip: If you constantly feeling poor. Take stock of the ‘lucky country’ we currently live in, the ‘freedoms’ we consider our right, and the opportunities we have to change, do and become who we aspire to be. Doing so hopefully we can live our life with more gratitude, appreciation, letting go of our past and be more present in our day-to-day life.
If we never feel enough, the decisions we make will always either be an overcompensation, or at best be a short-term band-aid solution to truly experiencing fulfilment and a higher quality of life.
Do I feel worthy?
A.K.A. Imposter syndrome. Sometimes we can feel guilty for we who are and what we have achieved. Even worse we can find ourselves in a space of fog, funk, and confusion about what our purpose is, after achieving significant personal or financial milestone in our lives.
When these movements of self-doubt bubble up, rather than beating ourselves up, be excited and take them as a sign we are ready to open the next door to personal growth and evolution.
Remember too, your desire to grab hold of the next rung in life requires us also to let go of the ring we may be currently unwilling and frozen by fear to let go of.
Be bold and empowered. Move forward confidently assured by your own experiences, when you overcame your fears and doubts, and in the face of them you still pushed through to get you to where you are, what you have achieved and who you have become today.
Are the opinions of others hindering me from following through on choices that inspire me?
“To many people buy things they don’t need, with money they don’t have, trying to impress people they don’t even like”. Annon
Worse still often we allow the good opinion of others hinder us from truly living a life that inspires us. As Baz Luhrman said, “A life lived in fear is a life half lived”.
Words of experience from others are both informative and valuable. This is the cornerstone of knowledge and how we pass lessons of life, from the teacher to the student. However, when we choose actions and things to impress or appease others, we deny ourselves one of the best investments we could ever make i.e., an investment in ourselves.
You owe it to you, and to others too. To discover and do what inspires you and live authentically.
What is my enough number?
My enough number is the annual income I generate, replacing my personal exertion income and fund my ideal lifestyle.
Enough money can be one of or a combination of, rent, dividends, bank interest, royalties, government assistance monies etc. Bottom line we have a choice to continue working or not.
The risk, however, is if we feel poor, even though our investment income (see above) could replace your personal exertion income and fund our ideal lifestyle. We may continue to stay working in a self-imposed lifestyle that is not only undesirable but risks our health, family, finances, and experiences.
I know many close friends and colleagues who have more than enough, however still they cannot go on a holiday without taking their computers and checking in with the office several times a day. Or they stay working longer and longer hours in their stressful jobs, drinking, smoking, eating junk food while not exercising. When financially they can comfortably afford to be spending more time with their families because …. (You will have to ask them why).
I’m not saying quit your job. I’m saying if you have enough then consider recalibrating your priorities.
The point is many of us work hard, sacrifice our time and lives with the goal of achieving financial independence. However, once we have achieved this significant goal we struggle to transition and enjoy the fruits of our labour.
Remember life is short! There is no dress rehearsal in life. Time is finite resource, and you cannot take your money with you.
If I could change one thing about my finances, what would it be?
There is a great book by Gary Keller called The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results. The thinking is that doing one action well, creates a domino like effect to other areas of our lives.
Often, we get distracted, stuck and overwhelmed by all the small stuff, however if we do one thing it can make a significant improvement to our lives. For example, if we find that we regularly overspend on our credit card and cannot pay our balance off each statement. One simple thing we could do is reduce our credit card limit. This “should” reduce our capacity to spend whilst also helping us to paying our credit card balance in full each statement period.
I bolded and underlined do because true change requires action, not good intentions. As they say and inch of action will always go further than miles of good intentions.
What is important about money to me and why?
If you really want to start to know yourself, be more motivated and have a guiding set of principles and truly living more authentically, then knowing what is important about money to you and why is essential.
I have facilitated this experience with hundreds of clients. Following which often involves tears, hugs and a genuine revelation of what has always been there, but never acknowledged or understood.
On a personal note, this exercise has shaped my life, my business and at the same time kept me and my actions accountable to my core values. As well as knowing when I am going to far with things or coasting in other areas of my life.
Knowing what’s important about money to me and why, has helped me to make faster decisions more confidently, whilst also motivating me to do the activities that I know need to be done, but sometimes I struggle to do.
“There are those who travel and those who are gong somewhere. They are different, and yet the same. Successful people have this over their rivals: they know where they are going” Mark Caine.
What is the biggest risk to me achieving my financial goals?
Are you standing in the way of your own success? Do you find yourself self-sabotaging all your good works and progress because of issues of self-worth? Are you trying to be accepted by everyone else and people please while at the same time never accepting yourself? Is being an ego maniac and having always to be right hindering your quality of life and relationships?
In life we all make emotional choices and then rationalise them weighted to our own bias and logic. The question is, are our thoughts and choices, hurting, hindering, or helping us on our journey to get to where we want to be?
In life I’ve learnt that success is simple, but not easy. You simply need to know specifically what you want, know how much it will cost and pay for it. I also know that change can happen in a moment, however coming to the decision to change can take years if not decades.
The good news is that we are not our past and each day we have the opportunity to live, believe in and do the activities to bring us closer to experiencing our ideal lives.
How do I want to be remembered?
Advice: Live the way you want to be remembered.
Boom! Drop microphone! Exit stage.
Are my financial choices and actions in alignment with my core values & what is important to me?
Refer also to response in question eight: What is important about money to me and why?
When our values are clear our decisions are easy. Often, we get distracted and drawn to the shiny, sparkly, silver bullet, quick fix solutions to get what we want sooner. Instead of doing the actual work we know is both simple but hard to do.
So instead of focusing on our actions being in alignment with our core values we, focus on the outcome rather than the day-to-day actions, that are the foundation of our success.
Equally the burden of frustration is lifted off our shoulders, only when we can accept that doing the work along with patience is the journey of mastery. With this perspective we can settle more into our actions of mastery, enjoy the journey whilst also being less distracted by our end goal.
Additionally, we foster a greater level of confidence within ourselves, that our goal is achievable (often sooner than we think) because simply focus more on improving how we are doing the work, to achieve our goal, in that the achievement of the goal is a fore gone conclusion.
What is my wealth philosophy?
Aristotle believed “The life of money-making is undertaken under compulsion, and wealth is evidently not the good we are seeking; for it is merely useful and for the sake of something else”.
Thoreau said “To have done anything by which you earned money, merely is to have been truly idle or worse”.
Epicurus believed that “If you wish to make Pythocles wealthy, don’t give him money, rather reduce his desires”.
Kierkegaard’s philosophy was “In the end, therefore, money will be the one thing people will desire, which is moreover only representative, an abstraction. Nowadays a young man hardly envies anyone his gifts, his art, the love of a beautiful girl, or his fame; he only envies him his money”.
Schopenhauer saw “wealth is like sea water: The more we drink the thirstier we become; and the same is true about fame”.
Needleman says “Those who criticise wealth don’t realise that money is needed to do good things”
The point is everyone has an opinion about money and it is shaped by our own experiences, values and understandings.
What is most important is that our philosophy empowers us to act. It is in our actions that we live, grow and experience. And after all isn’t that what life is all about!
If you are stuck in a funk or you’re lost in a cloud of complexity, feel free to contact me. Most often in life we just need someone to talk things through and to lighten our load a little.
This post was written by Me, as such they are my personal views and not financial or general advice.
You should always seek independent financial advice when it comes to choices about your personal finances. This is one area of your life where it’s worth paying for it to be done right.
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